I had the D&C on Monday afternoon. The oncologist had told Jason there was no growth so pathology would be examine the sample at micro level for pre cancer or cancer.
So that was hopeful news. I still had to remain on the medicine until he told us otherwise.
Last night I had trouble sleeping and was praying a ton again.
Through this process I have had so many people praying for us, and I even called the 700 club for prayer as well. I have been on a diet that has almost completely eliminated any added hormones to all meat and all dairy-per the Drs instructions. I have also been taking my doTeRRa daily vitamins as well as their DDR prime which targets cell repair and restores healthy cell growth.

I was at work today and about to let all the parents in the door as we were preparing for our Christmas performance and pot luck- so I was all over the place.

She said that the results showed no growth and no sign of cancer or precancer cells. She proceeded to tell me I can stop the medicine and we can proceed to try and grow our family. She said in 6 months if you have not conceived, you will come back in for an appointment with the oncologist.

Some of the best words were- "stop taking the meds and start taking prenatal vitamins!"

Praise the Lord!!! God has chosen to bless us with this complete healing!!! We do not know if his answer is yes to have more biological children yet, but we've made it this far through a lot of prayer and lifestyle choices and we are excited to see what the future may hold for our family.
Thank you for the concerns, prayers, motovational verses and for your continued prayers as we continue to the next phase of this journey.

I will be updating a few more times as we move forward in this part of our journey.
Today we met with the oncologist and the brief visit was positive and he said all my physical responses to the medicine were all very good signs.
The D&C is scheduled for Monday and he said we will have the results by Thursday (one day before my birthday!).
I have to remain on the medicine until he tells me I can stop- assuming probably until at least Thursday after we have the results of the d&c.

Keep praying for complete healing!

Tomorrow (Tuesday, December 8th) we will be going back to the oncologist for a consultation and to schedule the d&c. I haven't gotten much sleep as it has been a long 111 days prepping for this next phase. I honestly do not know what to pray at this point. I know God has already written the story and that he can, if not already, 100% heal my body. However, that may not be his plan and I have to be ok with that. I know God doesn't ever want to hold back blessings from his children, but I also know reality and that God doesn't always give us the desires of our heart the way we think- he gives us what we need and in accordance to his will. I want to be super hopeful and I do have faith that he can heal me, but I also know that may not be Gods plan. So I am conflicted right now. I am basically saying ok God. You've got this- nothing I can do, or have done will change your all ready set plan for our family. I long, as most wives do, to grow our family- to have another pregnancy. But I am also prepared to let that it go- super hard, but ready. "Lord, here are my open hands. I am releasing control and desires to your will. I am not in control. I have been a steward of the task at hand and now trusting in you as my provider, comforter, great physician, and Lord of the details."

Please please pray for us Tuesday morning and the next few weeks as we go through this process.
Thank you. I will update as soon as we know more.

So, as of tomorrow, Monday the 9th, I have only 30 days left on the megace steroid/phytoestrogen. The first 2.5 months were the worst. However, now that we are coming to the end of the 111 day treatment, I have gained more weight than I have ever gained (other than pregnancy). I began my journey on the meds running and doing tae bo. I injured my foot (again) two weeks ago and so last week I began no carbs and no sugars. After one week, I have not seen much change. I am discouraged and I feel completely defeated despite my efforts to overcome the side effect of weight gain on this medicine. I am not backing down. My foot is almost healed, and I will soon be back running again. I will not quite the no carbs no sugars detox until my body has overcome this extra 20 lbs that has been gained.
I know it's a season. I know I will not give up my efforts because I would be in really bad conditions if I do. I have 30 days left. I am determined to keep fighting through the weight gain and refuse the urge to be depressed daily as I don't want to face the day or put on clothes that aren't my pjs right now.
Keep praying that I will fight through the weight gain, fight through the feeling of defeat, and ultimately for complete healing of my body.
We meet with the dr for a consultation on Dec 8. We will have our d&c within a week or two following.

This is day 6 for my new routine of taking progesterone meds three times a day. So far, so good. Only a few minor reactions as my body is adjusting. The biggest constant is the headaches and occasional fast heart beat. But it doesn't last long and it goes away even quicker when I apply my essential oils. After checking with the oncologist, he approvede to be able to continue taking all of my vitamin supplements (doTERRA LLV), as well as the doTERRA probiotic (which was amazing relief to my digestive system), and DDR prime, which is commonly used by those fighting cancer.  I have begun my running journey again and am aware of carbs and sugars. The biggest concern for my diet the oncologist had for my situation was the hormones in milk and meat. Although we already try to avoid non-organic meat for the sake of adalyns future, we will also be switching over all dairy to organic, or use dairy alternatives. 

I have made a chart of the days remaining on this treatment to remember that despite any tough days ahead, I can do it!  If we do not receive the results we are praying for, at least we know we tried and worked hard in this journey.  I am excited for the challenge (as much as I can be!) and look forward to looking back on our journey and seeing how God was specifically working. I have already seen evidence of him at work for Jason and I, as well as through the abundance of prayer warriors and support through this.  So we want to thank you for taking the time to pray- especially these next 4 months as we take one day at a time on this medicine and pray for strength and joy even on the hard days. 

Oncologist

This is my third post about our current situation, to understand the background of this post, please refer to the other two posts.

So, I had my procedure on August 7. All went well, and the Dr. told Jason that it was not polyps, and that everything looked fine and we should be good to try to concieve in September. This was relieving and we were at peace. On Wednesday while in Greenville I was on my way to my parents after visting friends.  I receive a call from the Dr. She proceeded to tell me that she was very thrown off by a phone call from the lab from what she had removed from my uterus. It turned out to be pre cancer cell growth. After somehow getting to the end of the phone call, having a hard time making it home, laying Adalyn down for her nap, and finally being able to literally yell and wail into the bed, my mom came home from work early to help me cope and talk to Jason and my inlaws about what we had been told. No one ever ever ever wants to hear the word cancer in any shape or form in their body. Especially those of us who are younger and have young children. It was a very hard few days as we researched, talked to some dr friends, cried more, prayed a ton, and tried to be distracted.
The Dr scheduled an appointment for me with the gyno oncologist and in the initial phone call, she told me about a few possible options that I may be presented with by the oncologist.
She said that since we were trying to concieve, there was most likely an option to take a progesterone medication as an alternative to a hysterectomy.

Our appointment was today, Tuesday the 18th. Jason was able to come with me and some dear church friends helped watch Adalyn.

As we met the Dr, he began by saying "ok, I have all my notes here, but I want to hear from you what's going on." After I gave a quick recap and expanded on what I learned about my situation, he looked at Jason and said "Wow, I have my work cut out with her, huh? She has done her homework!"

So, during the conference, he explained that currently, even after the d&c, there is a good chance my uterus has hidden pre cancer or even cancer in my lining. So, we have two options, take a medicine to increase my progesterone levels and basically "kill" off all the cancer cells that could be in my uterus then be rechecked in 3.5-4 months through another d&c, or have a hysterectomy.
Considering how we want to have more children, and the progesterone treatment has at least a 50% success rate for fertility, we felt at peace to try.  Of course, at first, hearing the possible side affects, and taking through some more realistic things about it with the Dr, we had to discuss and decide what would be best for our family.  Since pregnancy provides the body with the amount of progesterone needed to keep the cells from creating, pregnancy is a healthy option for my condition, granted my uterus comes back 100% clear after the treatments.
As long as the progesterone clears up all signs of any cancer or pre cancer cells in 3.5-4 months, we will be able to try and conceive. If there is progress in the clearing of any growth, we will go through a second round of treatment and check again after 4 months. If we are not clear after the first treatment, and then not clear through the second treatment, we will have a hysterectomy. If we have an all clear after the first or after the second treatment, we can proceed to try to have another child.
We are in continuous prayer and are seeking Gods will about our fertility and also know that there is a chance we will not have success with this treatment and may have to proceed with surgery. We also know that we could do very well with this treatment and have at least one or even two more children in our future.

My brain hurts and my emotions are all over the place. We are clinging to each other as we prepare for some tough few months ahead.

God is in control.

So, I had my OB appointment on Tuesday. I went in for a yearly checkup and was hoping for some additional answers to our current infertility. I ended up getting bloodwork done as well as a thorough ultrasound. Blood work and yearly tests came back great! The ultra sound showed that I still have my fibroid, although as I've always been told- it is really a non issue since it is on the exterior of my uterus. However, I have polyps. Which may (not guaranteed), be the reason for our infertility. So- since polyps can cause several possible issues in a pregnancy, the dr strongly suggested to have them removed.
So, tomorrow morning I will be having the procedure to have them removed. Hopefully all will go well and I will be back to 100% quickly. We are thankful that we got some long awaited answers very quickly and that I am able to have this procedure (more expensive than we thought, but God will provide).
We will continue to pray and trust God with our families future as well as with Jason's continued search and pursuit of the next step in his career.

So, like many, I have wondered if 'blogging' would be a good idea.  A lot of times one chooses to blog when they are needing to journal, or feel the need to allow some transparency into their life due to various unspoken or unseen events.  For me, this is the case.

Let me begin by saying that we have had a great journey as a family the past two years.  We have not only moved, but we felt as if God was leading us in a whole new direction with our family.  Ever since we had been married, we struggled with a peace about our job situations and how we could allow Jason to be and do what he was supposed to do and to figure out what that even was exactly and allow for me to raise our children as a stay at home mom.  It was always a luring conversation.  However, we did not know that during that time, God was preparing us for a whole new direction to take during our 6th year of marriage. It was not coincidence that God placed a very amazing counselor in our path just at the right time before we made this transition. One day the counselor said "so what if God is calling you to go somewhere else and do something different?". We both looked at each other and said "Well, we'd go! However, there's no place to go, and we have no idea where to even begin." God even orchestrated a conversation with Jason's boss (our campus pastor) that basically lead us to decide if Jason was truly called into ministry.  That was a hard one to swallow at first. But then we both prayed about it and decided as one, that God was in fact not calling us into full time ministry, but to simply be a part of ministry as a part of our life.  That is what started our moving toward leaving Charleston, jobs, family and friends. After a few more conversations with our counselor, family and our campus pastor, we decided that it was time to go. Amazingly enough, we both had a peace that Nashville would be our next place to reside. Why Nashville? Well, other than the obvious reasons because Jason is a musician, we felt that here, he would get the experience and tools he needed to do what he felt he was supposed to be doing.
We left our comfort zone, and even traveled quite far away from any family and knew next to no one when we arrived. Getting to our new state here in TN wasn't a quick transition either.  It took 6 months to get to a place where we were able to be together as a family.  We had such a great set up during this transition despite the reality of the situation. We had to go through a rough time with trying to sell our home- to which we ended up having to shortsale due to being so far under in what we owed vs what it was worth (thanks to the economy crash after I bought the home) which ended up taking a whole year to finalize.  We were basically homeless and jobless when we left Charleston.  It was a very tough transition leaving, but such a blessing for me to be able to be in my home-town and spend some much needed time with friends and family.  God was providing mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually by placing me around trusted family and friends during the first part of our transition.  Jason soon got a job in TN- not the job we had envisioned, however, a job that would be just what we needed at this time.  So, for 6 months while we were apart, we looked, and looked, and looked and prayed every day for a place we could afford to live in TN all while Jason continued to search for a more 'career' like job at the time.  That time finally came in May of 2014 and we were able to then move June 6, 2014 to TN and join Jason again as a family.  We had a place to live, but still no clear picture about Jason's "career" job.
The transition to TN was very hard.  I am a home-body.  I love to be in places that are familiar to me and to have family near by. However, during this time, I had none of those.  If it wasn't for one family Jason knew from CSU (before I attended) that lived here, I would have been even more of a hermit and very depressed. We became friends quickly and then through joining their church at the time, were able to slowly develop relationships.  A year later, those relationships have grown to a place where we feel comfortable and as if we have 'family' here.  The past year was tough- I still struggle with not being close to family and childhood best friends. I still have a strong desire to be around family and really close friends, but God has not changed our current residence and I am still learning to trust that and know it is a season.
As far as Jason's growing career- he is still at his original job, however, last summer, we decided he needed to further his education in a field that he desired to work.  He has not only done well through this program, he has made the directors list every semester (straight A's).  He is well respected at school and has developed some great relationships.  He is at SAE (School of Audio Engineering) and will receive his diploma in Audio Engineering September 11, 2015. We do not know where his next job will be or what he will be doing, but he does know that he is wanting to work towards becoming a producer.  He is constantly looking for a job in audio engineering and will keep looking until God leads him to the right position.  For now, he will continue working at the music store (where he is a great music salesman) and hopes to do a paid internship on his days off in a local studio upon graduating.  He is also finishing up his third album which will be finished later this fall.

So, as a part of this current adventure, we have been trying to conceive to grow our family.  Of course, in my plan, we would have our kids 3 years apart- perfect, right?  Well, apparently it's not the best plan for our life.  God has decided, for unknown reasons, to delay and possibly even close our ability to have more children at this time.  If anyone has ever been faced with infertility, you understand the tears every time that time of the month comes along and proves yet again that you are not pregnant.  I question a lot of things.  We have been trying since last July to have another baby.  As a few know, I had/have a fibroid.  It was discovered around week 10 of my pregnancy at 3 cm. Thankfully, it is on the exterior of my uterus, but still grew to be about 9 cm once Adalyn was born. As of December 2014, it was 5cm.  This, along with our current life stresses and unknowns, has caused me to be angry, depressed, grouchy, confused, frustrated, as well as humbled, forced to trust, relinquish control, and truly value the blessing that Adalyn has been in our life.  I cry at the unknown possibility that she may be an only child.  She plays with an imaginary sister and longs for a playmate and we have always wanted more than one child. Everyone else is having children and most people I know have had little to no struggles growing their family.  I have done the ovulation tests, done cleanses/detox, tried to keep up my exercise (other than when I had a broken foot for 8 weeks this spring and gained 10 lbs), and tried to evaluate every possible reason that I may not be getting pregnant. I have even gone through the whole "just quite trying" and it will happen mental game. I have let go of this possible infertility and given it to God over and over. Every month, however, it is like an elephant in the room as we wait those few days for my body to show us if we are pregnant or not. Why? What's wrong with me? All I keep going back to is that God has a reason- I know, but it still hurts and still is inevitable that we are not getting pregnant after a year of trying. I will have a dr. appointment in August, although it is for a yearly appointment, I am hoping for some answers.  I have specifically chosen a dr that has experience with fibroids and can shed some light on my current situation.  I have not seen a dr. for over a year because of fear that I may get news I was not ready to hear.
There are so many unknowns in our journey at this point and it can be exhausting- but as my late grandpa used to say "It's not about what will you do 'if' the difficult times happen, it's about what you do when those times come. It is a journey and an adventure".  Will we get to have more children? Will I ever be pregnant again? Will we live in Nashville for years or months? What kind of job will Jason finally get? Will I finally be able to be a full time stay at home mom? Will Jason get to be a producer? Will we get to live near family again in the near future? I could spend all day in the unknowns at this time.  For now- we have a safe, nice place to live, our needs met, a great situation where I only have to go into work twice a week, where Adalyn can be with me, a side income through an essential oil business, and Jason has a job and is very successful at his school.  God is good, despite the struggles we face.